As a Christian I always believed that life should be lived according to God’s purpose. Whether you are in a fulltime ministry or working in the secular world, where God has put you is your mission field.
I have spent more than a decade of my life working in companies where I have earned good titles and the respect of people around me. The work became my second home. The adrenalin rush of beating deadlines, talking to managers and staff in distress, solving people issues, running workshops, justifying budgets, all gave me such a high that I thought I was having the greatest time in my career. Of course I acknowledged that it was God who blessed me with my job and my gifts. But work has taken its toll that I missed out years of opportunities to fulfil my role in using my work as my mission field. It took me years before I took the bold step to share the word in the workplace. With a willing and able friend, we were able to start-up a bible study group in the company. I would not say it was a harvest but I believed that the Holy Spirit allowed us to plant some seeds.
After a while, I found myself joining another firm and filling-in a bigger role. Once again, I was caught up in the crazy life of dealing with issues and bringing the problems even to my sleep. It was intoxicating but I found myself finding fulfilment as I sort out every difficulty that came along. I was a freak but I thought it felt good to be useful and needed. The pay was good and I felt adequate. My pride was soaring. It took me a year before I faced the fact that I had not done my part for the Lord once again. Eventually, the Holy Spirit led me to share with a person who was occupying a critical role in the company. It was a victory for the Lord.
“What a great God we have,” I said to myself. He makes me enjoy life and despite losing my focus on Him, more often than not, he still uses me to serve His purpose.
It came to a point in my life when I thought I could not ask for more. I have my own cosy home, a quiet and peaceful neighbourhood (with good and caring neighbours), a stable income (hence, stable savings), wonderful friends and an excellent career. I was thriving with success.
As if things aren’t enough, the Lord opened an opportunity for us to live our dreams of working and living abroad. I struggled for a while with the thought (which meant months) for fear of losing all that I have worked hard for. But while I believed that the stakes are higher I also believed that the trade-off will be worth it. We went ahead (after prayerful consideration and discerning God’s nod of approval) without really knowing where life will take us.
Gary and I are now in Australia. We live in a house shared with five other Filipinos. As rental fees in Australia are quite high, we believe that this is a practical move. While our number is not ideal, the church who owns the house agreed to accommodate all seven of us. We are staying in a room outside the main house where we have nothing but used furnishings that are either hand-me-downs or unwanted stuff that Gary managed to pull-out from someone’s garage. In this modern age, imagine me watching from an analogue TV where the signal is so erratic that you only get a chance to watch one to two channels. During bad days, sometimes the colours also go away leaving me wincing in the hazy black and white screen. We could not afford to get a cable or to even buy an antenna. We sleep in a double bed and having used to a queen size, we sometimes wake up with stiff necks or with back pains. But of course, this is better than sleeping on the floor with no cushion. Our neighbours do not care to know who we are so I have no one else to talk to when everyone has gone out to work. It’s not so bad but there are days when I just miss home.
For almost three months I struggled with not being able to get a job. I don’t know if my four days in a food shop serving customers, working in the kitchen and washing dirty dishes with tyrant and deceptive employers would count. But since that experience brought me nothing but a faint heart, l thought I’d just leave it behind. I have sent out 50 applications (and still counting) for just about anything (retail, construction, real estate, accounting firm, aged care, etc.) and still could not make it even for an interview. There were days when I thought I needed a break as a sight of another job ad makes me cringe. Suffice it to say that I have never been rejected this much in my whole career life. Now I have to face the fact that in this foreign land, I am “nobody” and what I have worked hard for in years now amounts to “nothing.” I found myself in the midst of very humbling circumstances.
Surviving Australia is not so hard if you have at least one person with fulltime job and if you have no kids to support. But because we have our own obligations back home, the expenses are double leaving us with measly savings. Seeing Gary come home so exhausted each night while I spend unproductive days at home made me felt so worthless.
I haven’t heard from any of my friends at home. While it felt good to reminisce the times we were juggling our schedules to accommodate the “despedidas” I realized it was only as good as it lasted. I do not blame them. No one else has as much “free time” as I do. I was embittered and desolate.
For the first time in my life, I was made to (strongly) feel so low, poor, weak, troubled, insufficient, all put together. As I agonize with my emotions and my thoughts, a revelation occurred to me during my quiet time. I just realised that I have been stripped off the things that gave me comfort so I can experience God’s joy, richness, strength, peace and sufficiency. Of course I would not be true to myself if I say my heart has been completely transformed but I have never learned about complete dependence to Him until now when I have lost a lot of things that gave me comfort in life. I have been singing the song “Your grace is sufficient for me. Your strength is made perfect when I am weak...” ever since I was a child and it was only now when the lyrics spoke to me with such profoundness.
As my weaknesses as a Christian get more and more magnified by my present circumstances, I started facing them head on. It is quite a struggle seeing my selfishness, my pride, my material desires and my wanting faith cripple me. I cry in pain and wallow in my failures. My days have passed, my plans are shattered, and so are the desires of my heart (Job 17:11). The words of Job became the words of my heart. Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer. (Psalm 4:1) The plea of David became my plea.
How does one find joy, richness, strength, peace and sufficiency in the Lord at a time like this? It’s unfathomable. But I get by each day through His words. Even as He keeps His silence, I do not give up searching for His presence and taking comfort in His words. Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. (Psalm 16:5-7). After all, I know He left us with these truths so we can remain and grow in our walk until He comes again. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favour and a good name in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:3)
I realise that the pains and struggles that crush our spirit will keep coming in and out of our lives. Sometimes I think the magnitude just keeps getting bigger and I can’t help but quiver in fear but the Lord left us a reminder of His eternal plan. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12) It is not easy to lose your desires when you are stripped off the very things that gave you security in life but my experience hanging on to them only made me realise how temporary everything else in the world is. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. (1 John 2:17) For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18) Want to know my most comforting reminder? Only God remains eternal.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
New Life in Australia
I still remember the day when Ayi asked the question, “Okay lang ba ituloy ko application ko sa Australia?” and that I simply responded with a nod. I answered him half-heartedly because I just accepted a job offer from Quantum as HR Manager, an opportunity I was praying to have for almost a year. A picture of a new life is just too much to absorb when you are just getting over gruelling months of job-hunting and rough moments of attempting to regain your self-esteem.
I remember how after Ayi’s acceptance of offer to work in Australia and I woke up to tell him, “Beb, ayoko sa Australia.” I remember that sad, disappointed look in Ayi’s face that managed to ask, “Bakit?” and I just could not come up with a logical answer. What is it that made me say that? We have been praying to God for years for a chance to start a life in another country together. God gave us his approval and now I changed my mind? Ayi has more than enough reason to be upset but understanding as he is, we managed to sort out this discussion with me realizing I am just overwhelmed with the fear of the unknown.
So then one day I found myself handing my resignation, saying goodbye to friends, sorting out my home stuff, packing up my luggage and leaving the lovely home and neighbourhood we have lived in as we started our life together.
Now I am sitting in the lounge in my woollen socks and in my jumpers (that’s the usual Aussie term for sweaters) trying to warm myself because right now it’s 15 degrees here in Perth. Oh yeah, it’s been a month since I got here and pretty much adjusting to the new life Down Under.
One of the funniest recollections of my first impression of Perth was when we stepped out of the airport. At the first sight of the streets, I felt a bit uneasy because I could not see any building. It was just trees and dry land all over. “Uh-oh, what is this place?,” was the first thought in my head. “Ba’t walang building?” I just have to let it out. Ayi responded with a laugh. “Does he think this is funny?” I was trying to calm myself. “Ganyan dito sa Perth. Walang buhay,” was the resounding statement I got from Ate Amy, the nice lady who picked us up from the airport. I just froze in my seat trying to reject the truth from that statement. “Naku ‘wag naman. Mamamatay ako dito,” were the words I wish I could blurt out loud to Ayi’s ears. After a while, we entered streets with similar-looking houses, houses made of bricks with huge front lawns. Ah, finally there’s a sign of life in here. When we got to our new home, it wasn’t bad after all. The huge lawn and spaces around the lot plus the park fronting us give you a sense of freedom and tranquility. The serenity is much the same as our place in St. Monique but I definitely welcome the huge space compared to our 66sqm abode back in Manila.
Perth is a very quiet city I must say. Our suburb is 30 minutes away from the Central Business District and is a few minutes’ drive from a shopping centre. It has a total of 1.5M in population which pretty much explains the serenity. Coming from a country that just has too many people everywhere, this is definitely a blessed haven. If you need a breath of fresh air, I am so happy to know that this part of the earth still has it. Ayi and I used to joke about reusing our shirts after a day’s travel as they are as fresh smelling as they were before they were worn. A friend even said a booger here is colored white. Hahaha! That’s gross but yeah, that’s just how clean this place is. The only downside is that the youths here seem to love making graffiti as their past time. You see these ugly sights even in public transports which is just appalling as these are government properties. It’s I guess a perennial problem in this city or maybe even outside the state.
If you just hate traffic, this is also another place to retreat in. When people here complain of traffic I just wanted to laugh and say, “there are places in the world much much worst.” While there is barely a traffic congestion in major thoroughfares, you just got to learn how to manage your time so you will not miss the bus and your appointment. Weekends and holidays have an average of one hour interval. So imagine missing it for just a few seconds delay. For someone who has been commuting all the years of her life, running like crazy so as not to miss the bus is neither a bad experience nor a bad exercise. I remember reaching the bus stop panting like a dog and making noises while I tried to catch my breath that it sent one old lady to turn her glance as if to say “poor thing.” Never mind the poise. At least I got to the bus on time. Scrambling for a place in the tricycle after alighting the shuttle in St. Monique is a good training after all.
A visit to the city malls is okay but at times I miss my “malling” in Ortigas (Galleria, Megamall and Shang Plaza) where brands are more familiar and prices are friendlier in the pocket. Ayi and I also miss our coffee time at Starbucks. Aussies do not know what they are missing for not having that coffee place here in Perth. I am not a Starbucks endorser but I really miss it. (Huhuhu...) I heard they closed down the only one they have in Sydney. There are coffee places all over though. Dome and Gloria Jeans are the most familiar brand for us. Dome is a posh brand in Manila but here it has just about the same price as the others, although it is the most prominent cafe here in Western Australia. If I am not mistaken, it originated here. So Dome is Perth’s Starbucks. Hahaha! Haay...Coffee Jelly, miss na miss kita.
I do not know if it’s Ayi’s discriminating palate, but he sort of influenced me in realizing that we have better food quality for diners in Manila than here. We have yet to eat in a restaurant that will give us our money’s worth. Although we have not really tried going to fancy places and I don’t think Ayi intends to in the near future. The fresh produce are, however, very good in quality and the prices are just right. Suffice it to say that the best option is to cook at home than to dine out. Good thing I do not struggle with that. (I mean with cooking.) I just kind of missed some Filipino seasonings and I wish I have brought some. But thank heavens for Filipino Diaspora that made it possible for Barrio Fiesta Bagoong, Silver Swan Soy Sauce and Datu Puti Vinegar to get to Perth. My cooking will never be the same without them.
If you love veggies and fruits, Australia grows them really well. Infact, one of the most common past times of Aussies is growing a veggie-patch in their backyard. That’s how widely oriented they are in agriculture. You will be amazed at how nicely grown the vegetables are here. Don’t really know if they are all organic as I am not as conscious when it comes to how they are grown. But the sizes, the colour and the form are just too wonderful to look at. Imagine the large capsicums, eggplants (that has a size as big as our ‘patola’), tomatoes (cherry tomatoes and salad tomatoes), and lettuce (that you have to carry with your two hands). So sad I am not a fan of salad greens. The fruits are very nice and colourful but I still miss our tropical fruits like mangoes (nothing beats Philippine mangoes) and latundan! The only banana variety I have seen so far is Cavendish, the type that I do not eat apart from Senyorita. Haay...
As I crave for more and more Filipino food, there are those that I have started to enjoy when I got here that we do not typically buy back home. Fruit juices here are sold at $2 for 2 litres when on sale. These are not like the powdered juices mostly sold in our groceries but bottled juices with no added sugar and preservatives. You get them in many different flavours made from many different combinations of fruits, mostly citrus. This has become part of our meals on a regular basis because of its affordability and you know, the health part (I do not sound like a Dietitian). Another one I love drinking during meals is Brownes, a flavoured milk. Again, you have to grab them during sale. We love the chocolate and mocha flavour. My closest friends would know I am a fan of Chocolait and having found this brand makes me say, “Where have you been all my life?” Hahaha! I should get a fee from Brownes for this.
Supermarkets here, and other stores for that matter, typically go on sale for three to four days for specific brands and types of food. They spend a lot to come out with brochures which are distributed to the household on a weekly basis. Looking through them is like doing window shopping. As the savings will be significant if you take advantage of the sale, Ayi and I try to grab our common household items during this period and then wait for another sale to replenish. Ayi taught me to grab regular food items that do not require replenishment yet in the interest of savings. We also buy items in bigger portions as basic math would tell you that they actually come out cheaper.
Another thing that I am slowly acquainting myself is the accent and the use of slang words. As I interact with more locals, there is less use of “I’m sorry I didn’t get that” or “I beg your pardon” as I try to catch up with the “context” of the message even as I miss some of the colloquial terms. It gets tricky though when the main context is from the slang I just did not get. Aussies are fond of using short-cuts that they call chicken “chooks”, breakfast “brekkie” or “brekky”, relatives “relos”, chewing gum “chewie”, you get the drift. I also figured out from listening to the news each day that their “a” as in “day” is pronounced as “i” as in “die” and “e” as in “me” is pronounced as “a” as in “may”. So when you hear them say, “To may it’s a bad die,” they may mean “To me it’s a bad day.” This may not be accurate but that’s my observation.
Day by day, as I embrace our new life, the ups and downs of living away from my homeland are slowly being revealed to me. I cannot be thankful enough that the Lord has given me an opportunity to enrich my life with this new experience. Some experiences are difficult to hurdle, some are just too great to even deserve, yet every time, they never fail to reveal the magnitude of God’s grace.
I remember how after Ayi’s acceptance of offer to work in Australia and I woke up to tell him, “Beb, ayoko sa Australia.” I remember that sad, disappointed look in Ayi’s face that managed to ask, “Bakit?” and I just could not come up with a logical answer. What is it that made me say that? We have been praying to God for years for a chance to start a life in another country together. God gave us his approval and now I changed my mind? Ayi has more than enough reason to be upset but understanding as he is, we managed to sort out this discussion with me realizing I am just overwhelmed with the fear of the unknown.
So then one day I found myself handing my resignation, saying goodbye to friends, sorting out my home stuff, packing up my luggage and leaving the lovely home and neighbourhood we have lived in as we started our life together.
Now I am sitting in the lounge in my woollen socks and in my jumpers (that’s the usual Aussie term for sweaters) trying to warm myself because right now it’s 15 degrees here in Perth. Oh yeah, it’s been a month since I got here and pretty much adjusting to the new life Down Under.
One of the funniest recollections of my first impression of Perth was when we stepped out of the airport. At the first sight of the streets, I felt a bit uneasy because I could not see any building. It was just trees and dry land all over. “Uh-oh, what is this place?,” was the first thought in my head. “Ba’t walang building?” I just have to let it out. Ayi responded with a laugh. “Does he think this is funny?” I was trying to calm myself. “Ganyan dito sa Perth. Walang buhay,” was the resounding statement I got from Ate Amy, the nice lady who picked us up from the airport. I just froze in my seat trying to reject the truth from that statement. “Naku ‘wag naman. Mamamatay ako dito,” were the words I wish I could blurt out loud to Ayi’s ears. After a while, we entered streets with similar-looking houses, houses made of bricks with huge front lawns. Ah, finally there’s a sign of life in here. When we got to our new home, it wasn’t bad after all. The huge lawn and spaces around the lot plus the park fronting us give you a sense of freedom and tranquility. The serenity is much the same as our place in St. Monique but I definitely welcome the huge space compared to our 66sqm abode back in Manila.
Perth is a very quiet city I must say. Our suburb is 30 minutes away from the Central Business District and is a few minutes’ drive from a shopping centre. It has a total of 1.5M in population which pretty much explains the serenity. Coming from a country that just has too many people everywhere, this is definitely a blessed haven. If you need a breath of fresh air, I am so happy to know that this part of the earth still has it. Ayi and I used to joke about reusing our shirts after a day’s travel as they are as fresh smelling as they were before they were worn. A friend even said a booger here is colored white. Hahaha! That’s gross but yeah, that’s just how clean this place is. The only downside is that the youths here seem to love making graffiti as their past time. You see these ugly sights even in public transports which is just appalling as these are government properties. It’s I guess a perennial problem in this city or maybe even outside the state.
If you just hate traffic, this is also another place to retreat in. When people here complain of traffic I just wanted to laugh and say, “there are places in the world much much worst.” While there is barely a traffic congestion in major thoroughfares, you just got to learn how to manage your time so you will not miss the bus and your appointment. Weekends and holidays have an average of one hour interval. So imagine missing it for just a few seconds delay. For someone who has been commuting all the years of her life, running like crazy so as not to miss the bus is neither a bad experience nor a bad exercise. I remember reaching the bus stop panting like a dog and making noises while I tried to catch my breath that it sent one old lady to turn her glance as if to say “poor thing.” Never mind the poise. At least I got to the bus on time. Scrambling for a place in the tricycle after alighting the shuttle in St. Monique is a good training after all.
A visit to the city malls is okay but at times I miss my “malling” in Ortigas (Galleria, Megamall and Shang Plaza) where brands are more familiar and prices are friendlier in the pocket. Ayi and I also miss our coffee time at Starbucks. Aussies do not know what they are missing for not having that coffee place here in Perth. I am not a Starbucks endorser but I really miss it. (Huhuhu...) I heard they closed down the only one they have in Sydney. There are coffee places all over though. Dome and Gloria Jeans are the most familiar brand for us. Dome is a posh brand in Manila but here it has just about the same price as the others, although it is the most prominent cafe here in Western Australia. If I am not mistaken, it originated here. So Dome is Perth’s Starbucks. Hahaha! Haay...Coffee Jelly, miss na miss kita.
I do not know if it’s Ayi’s discriminating palate, but he sort of influenced me in realizing that we have better food quality for diners in Manila than here. We have yet to eat in a restaurant that will give us our money’s worth. Although we have not really tried going to fancy places and I don’t think Ayi intends to in the near future. The fresh produce are, however, very good in quality and the prices are just right. Suffice it to say that the best option is to cook at home than to dine out. Good thing I do not struggle with that. (I mean with cooking.) I just kind of missed some Filipino seasonings and I wish I have brought some. But thank heavens for Filipino Diaspora that made it possible for Barrio Fiesta Bagoong, Silver Swan Soy Sauce and Datu Puti Vinegar to get to Perth. My cooking will never be the same without them.
If you love veggies and fruits, Australia grows them really well. Infact, one of the most common past times of Aussies is growing a veggie-patch in their backyard. That’s how widely oriented they are in agriculture. You will be amazed at how nicely grown the vegetables are here. Don’t really know if they are all organic as I am not as conscious when it comes to how they are grown. But the sizes, the colour and the form are just too wonderful to look at. Imagine the large capsicums, eggplants (that has a size as big as our ‘patola’), tomatoes (cherry tomatoes and salad tomatoes), and lettuce (that you have to carry with your two hands). So sad I am not a fan of salad greens. The fruits are very nice and colourful but I still miss our tropical fruits like mangoes (nothing beats Philippine mangoes) and latundan! The only banana variety I have seen so far is Cavendish, the type that I do not eat apart from Senyorita. Haay...
As I crave for more and more Filipino food, there are those that I have started to enjoy when I got here that we do not typically buy back home. Fruit juices here are sold at $2 for 2 litres when on sale. These are not like the powdered juices mostly sold in our groceries but bottled juices with no added sugar and preservatives. You get them in many different flavours made from many different combinations of fruits, mostly citrus. This has become part of our meals on a regular basis because of its affordability and you know, the health part (I do not sound like a Dietitian). Another one I love drinking during meals is Brownes, a flavoured milk. Again, you have to grab them during sale. We love the chocolate and mocha flavour. My closest friends would know I am a fan of Chocolait and having found this brand makes me say, “Where have you been all my life?” Hahaha! I should get a fee from Brownes for this.
Supermarkets here, and other stores for that matter, typically go on sale for three to four days for specific brands and types of food. They spend a lot to come out with brochures which are distributed to the household on a weekly basis. Looking through them is like doing window shopping. As the savings will be significant if you take advantage of the sale, Ayi and I try to grab our common household items during this period and then wait for another sale to replenish. Ayi taught me to grab regular food items that do not require replenishment yet in the interest of savings. We also buy items in bigger portions as basic math would tell you that they actually come out cheaper.
Another thing that I am slowly acquainting myself is the accent and the use of slang words. As I interact with more locals, there is less use of “I’m sorry I didn’t get that” or “I beg your pardon” as I try to catch up with the “context” of the message even as I miss some of the colloquial terms. It gets tricky though when the main context is from the slang I just did not get. Aussies are fond of using short-cuts that they call chicken “chooks”, breakfast “brekkie” or “brekky”, relatives “relos”, chewing gum “chewie”, you get the drift. I also figured out from listening to the news each day that their “a” as in “day” is pronounced as “i” as in “die” and “e” as in “me” is pronounced as “a” as in “may”. So when you hear them say, “To may it’s a bad die,” they may mean “To me it’s a bad day.” This may not be accurate but that’s my observation.
Day by day, as I embrace our new life, the ups and downs of living away from my homeland are slowly being revealed to me. I cannot be thankful enough that the Lord has given me an opportunity to enrich my life with this new experience. Some experiences are difficult to hurdle, some are just too great to even deserve, yet every time, they never fail to reveal the magnitude of God’s grace.
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