“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. “ – James 1:2-4
It’s been almost two years since I’ve left home to see what life has to offer in Australia. It wasn’t easy to leave a significant aspect of your life behind especially if you know there’s nothing wrong with it. We had good jobs. We have a house. Our families are close-by. Friends are within reach. But hey, who would pass a chance to live in Australia where life seems to be more attractive? It is by far one of the most liveable countries in the world. It is unquestionably a wealthy nation. Think about the job market, the health care system, the living conditions, and the overall quality of life a systematic and orderly system can bring about. Nothing like this compares to life in my homeland. It is a no-brainer to choose to live in a place like this should opportunity presents itself. So now here we are.
I knew coming here does not mean life will be in a bed of roses. But what I never anticipated was the level of adversity we would face as we “temporarily” traded our life back home. No one told me that job market would not be easy for overseas workers (especially Asians) like me. I am not for a moment judging this culture as biased but because of their desire to set certain standards, overseas qualifications do not count. Unfortunately, I did not come from UK or in European nations whose experiences are far more valued. Philippines’ standard of education does not stand a chance in comparison to developed countries and yes to a certain degree even one’s professional experience. It is not a debatable issue in my opinion. So yes, even in the midst of crunching Gary’s income I had to spend $2,200 to get an Australian qualification. How we were able to make both ends meet then only God knew.
After a thousand and one unsuccessful applications, I finally landed a job suited for my skills and my “qualifications.” Now, it’s been one and a half years since I joined the Australian workforce. What can I say without sounding ungrateful? It’s been immensely challenging! I suppose everyone, regardless of culture, has to prove oneself. But I find that even before I had a chance to demonstrate what I can do, some people have already created an opinion of me because of where I am from. I have created this notion not out of one isolated experience but several (maybe more than what my hands could count!). But I braved all of them mindful of my self-worth. Someone’s opinion because of our difference in colour does not faze me. I am not saying for a moment that it’s easy. Nothing is. Nothing has been.
Every day at work I deal with conflicts, complaints, workers who have quit their jobs but stay (in other words, lack the drive but too lazy to look around for another job!), managers whose egos are as big as their pay checks, people who have no respect for authority, etc. The biggest thing I learned in this job is taking pride in my job even if I get blamed for every other people problem that occurs under the sun! Too many unhappy scenes every day! Every telltale sign is pointing my direction out of the door. Well, gaining this experience seemed to have added value to my CV, or so I thought. To my dismay, being gainfully employed has not been helpful in my quest for another job. My rate of success has not changed even after one a half years in the workforce. It’s hard to say why.
Gary’s challenges are not too different. More often than not, he stretches himself because majority of people at work do not want to pull their weight. While he gained the respect of his colleagues, he never received the attention for his efforts from his manager. To add insult to injury, he was once offered a promotion and due to business decision, took it back. Never in my entire life in HR, have I seen such lack of professionalism. But Gary’s ballgame is entirely different than mine. He has no choice but to stay.
In our desire to change the course of our plight, we thought of taking the opportunity to apply for permanent residency. Maybe this visa will give us more options and more opportunities. I never anticipated this process to be easy but I never thought it would cause us so much grief.
It’s been more than a year since we have approached Gary’s employer to assist us in this endeavour. It’s been more than five months since we have signed a contract with a migration agent. Putting the papers altogether seemed to have taken forever. I spent nights working through every detail of the requirements and at some point thought about giving up in frustration. We persevered. We waited.
One day, I received the most anticipated email from Gary’s employer. They are finally sending the papers through. I thought about so many things we would do after we get an approval for a new visa. At last after our innumerable undesirable experiences, we will experience a breakthrough! One that I thought is going to start changing this pattern of disappointment.
Then one horrible Tuesday, Gary was ringing me in the middle of his work. My heart raced a bit as he’s never done this before. I braced myself for every word he said. The bank is taking over his company. There was silence. I wished I heard it wrong. Gary kept on with the details while I try to take them all in. Gary’s last instructions that I could remember was to ring our agent straight away which I did. He was as shocked as we were while trying to keep me calm. But there was no need to sugar coat the truth and I guess we do not need to have a background in Finance to understand where this is heading. We can’t move ahead with the lodging of the employer nomination.
Gary came home that night holding a letter in his hand explaining the situation and brief information on receivership. The receiver, which in this case is a bank, is taking control of the company’s assets to secure a debt owed by the company. I sent a word to our agent and we had a lengthy discussion in an effort to paint for us the overall picture including the worst possible scenario of going back home.
In the Bible, James said as Christians we should consider our trials as pure joy. How can someone find joy in all of this? From what I can recall, joy has been so elusive from us for such a long while. As much as my mind stays focused on my spiritual goal, our present plight puts out the little ember of joy that I am trying to blow into a flame in my heart. Suddenly, the songs of praise turned into tears. The prayer of thanks turned into sorrow. Where is that joy Lord? I long for that joy. I look at the scriptures and searched for God’s promises but no words escape my mouth to utter praises for these loving assurances. The processing of my anguish took a while to subdue.
I thought for a moment about our lives in the past years and I realised that could not be right. In moments when our finances seem to be dwindling, the Lord gave us a breakthrough. In the nick of time, God was there. We prayed for a house and He gave it to us. We prayed for a new job and He gave us more than what we asked for. We prayed for a chance to live overseas and He has granted it. Every day that we face different challenges, He sees us through it. Surely we have our fair share of our own triumphs and the Lord never had to explain why. Why then am I asking God the reasons why He is allowing us to go through these disappointments?
In one of my prayers, I cried out, “Lord I could use one win, just one, in the midst of all these. I miss being happy.” Then I realised happiness is not the same as joy. Why did James encourage us to consider our trials as pure joy? Joy only comes from the Lord. Nehemiah 8:10 says, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” When I received an award after finishing College and finishing my board exams in flying colours, I thought I was the happiest person in the world. When I bought my first mobile phone, I was so elated I could not sleep without tinkering on it with excitement. When I first stepped out of the country for our honeymoon, I thought it was the greatest feeling in the world. When I received my biggest pay check in one of my previous jobs, I was ecstatic I thought I was only dreaming. When I drove my first car (that I didn’t even have to pay for), it gave me such exhilaration that I thought will never change. But hey, these achievements and material things have only brought me momentary happiness... a level of happiness that has been gone long before the memories have faded. But hope in the Lord gives me reason to have joy. Isaiah 40:31 says, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
As I once shared with a friend, our hearts are broken but not our faith. Joy can only be found in Jesus Christ. He is sovereign and He knows the plan He has for us which is meant to give us hope and a future. Despite my longing for a win and maybe an instant happiness, I find that joy has never left our lives after I have found Jesus.
The lyrics of the song “A Mighty Fortress is our God” clearly are such powerful words to encourage Christians to just press on despite life’s disappointments. Let me share the first two paragraphs of the song that I find truly comforting.
A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper he amid the flood
Of mortal ills prevailing.
For still our ancient foe
Doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great,
And armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.
Did we in our own strength confide,
Our striving would be losing,
Were not the right man on our side,
The man of God's own choosing.
Dost ask who that may be?
Christ Jesus, it is he;
Lord Sabaoth, his name,
From age to age the same,
And he must win the battle.
There are surely more disappointments to come but it will not stop me from doing what I was called to do in this place. My purpose far outweighs my desires. It is on its own a reason to find joy and rejoice in the Lord. "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord," Habakkuk 3:17.
"When God closes the door, He opens a window." I will wait for you oh Lord to reveal your next plans. In the meantime, I will not allow this present trial to take away my joy and I will say, "Praise the Lord!"
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Quiet, Everyday Miracles
The 5th of October was my first day in a real job in Australia, i.e., a paying job. I remember the tension I felt as I entered the building. I was greeted by a nice man who introduced himself as the PDM (People Development Manager) who apparently was the person I am replacing. I glanced at the fairly decent office room that I will have, the spacious training room that I will use and the rest of the working environment that I will be setting my foot onto every day.
I was only in my sixth month in Australia at that time. That means everything is new. New country, new job, new work environment, new culture. I was brimming with hope and expectations. I can’t help my heart from leaping with joy. My lips were full of praises.
I remember how after a few hours into my first day that I was already driving a new car back home! Being a novice driver in a new road made me feel horrified and thrilled at the same time. I remember how my housemates gasped at the sight of me coming home with a humongous sedan all by myself! It was such a funny sight. Just the day before I was just at home doing my usual duties as a housewife. Now what am I doing with a new car? It’s like I just won the lottery and people wondered how I became instantly rich. Ha!Ha!Ha! I will never forget that day.
A few weeks after, I found myself sitting in my own room with my new laptop and a new cell phone. It was all happening like a dream. But it also took me a few weeks when reality started to bit me. How will I forget my boss as he gnashed his teeth as he insisted that I go out to stores two to three times a week? How will I forget how this interesting personality in the office rudely told me how to do my job? How will I forget how the enormous work sitting on my desk made me feel nauseous every day as I come to work? Yes, it was only a matter of weeks when I realised that what seemed like a dream turned into a nightmare.
The typical week consists of phone calls from stores listening to questions, complaints and whims, online applications to process, complaints from parents of staff, interview schedules, workers’ compensation issues, travel to stores, preparation of training activities, training paperwork, conduct of training, injury and safety issues, traineeship application, induction, release of uniforms, filing, photocopying, and the list goes on. I have slowly mastered the art of multi-tasking like faxing while photocopying, writing an email while talking on the phone, and oh yes, having lunch while working! The job itself was like putting together the various roles I’ve had in all my ten years in HR and Training. Honestly, my work has started to become quite revolting.
On top of all the work that needs to be done in a day, my boss can be totally impossible! I have serious issues about his ethical standards yet I maintain my professionalism. I disagree on most of his judgment calls yet I abide by his orders. I dread it when he asks for “a minute” of my time as he most often than not takes an hour with his “monologue.” He can and will humiliate you in front of everyone when he’s put on the spot as he had done with me more than once. He mumbles his words and annoyingly ends his litany with “Yah?” leaving you with no choice but to nod your head. Oh yeah. He’s a very unique character in my book.
How many times have I struggled to move on with my project on hand because of conflicting decisions between him and HR. Countless times have I been caught up with issues of “double-standards.” Countless times have I been a witness of office politics and conflict of interests to put it subtly. Honestly, not all of these experiences are my first time. I don’t think you can find a perfect company in whichever part of the world. But boy does it get any better than this?
I have strongly considered quitting and Gary and I have had several conversations about this. But despite Gary’s loving support I just can’t find it in my heart to quit now. No, life is much too complex than just one quick decision to end my ordeal.
While I continue to hang on with my job, it is such a great wonder how I was able to get through with my everyday challenges. The interesting thing about this whole new experience is how the Lord allows me to witness his quiet, everyday miracles. The quick prayer for wisdom and patience has become part of my daily supplication. I remember how I try to pull myself together each time I step out of the house as I hold the tears welling up my eyes. “God, today’s another day in the battlefield again.” I think I say a prayer three times even before my work even starts... once at home, once in the car and once in the office... all pleading for the Lord to give me a day of peace at work.
Oh it is such an awe at how God listens to prayers and how He enables me to experience the subtle yet powerful miracles in my life each day. The Lord turns my boss’ leer into a faint smile. With this disposition, the whole office environment just gets transformed into a calm, relaxed space even for just a while. Then the Lord just does something with my phone that allows me to have some peaceful hours into the day. He helps me sort out issues that to begin with I am clueless about. He grants me composure when my head would’ve been spinning with all the job that keeps on coming in. Then in His most benevolent way, He appeases the heart of the managers who would’ve been in their usual crabby mood as they speak to me. Before I knew it, my day is over in the office and the Lord fills me with a sense of fulfilment that on this day, I was able to serve the Lord without a tinge of distress.
Of course my desire is to one day find that workplace that will bring back my cheer and allow me to radiate my joy. While I have always believed that life is not defined by the work that we do, I have long realised how important it is to find a job that you will enjoy because the reality is that most of us spend more hours in the day at work and it can, sadly enough, inevitably take the best of you.
I never expected life to be easy in Australia and it has not been. But it is witnessing God’s quiet, everyday miracles that make our new journey much, much more meaningful.
“ Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” - Proverbs 3:3
I was only in my sixth month in Australia at that time. That means everything is new. New country, new job, new work environment, new culture. I was brimming with hope and expectations. I can’t help my heart from leaping with joy. My lips were full of praises.
I remember how after a few hours into my first day that I was already driving a new car back home! Being a novice driver in a new road made me feel horrified and thrilled at the same time. I remember how my housemates gasped at the sight of me coming home with a humongous sedan all by myself! It was such a funny sight. Just the day before I was just at home doing my usual duties as a housewife. Now what am I doing with a new car? It’s like I just won the lottery and people wondered how I became instantly rich. Ha!Ha!Ha! I will never forget that day.
A few weeks after, I found myself sitting in my own room with my new laptop and a new cell phone. It was all happening like a dream. But it also took me a few weeks when reality started to bit me. How will I forget my boss as he gnashed his teeth as he insisted that I go out to stores two to three times a week? How will I forget how this interesting personality in the office rudely told me how to do my job? How will I forget how the enormous work sitting on my desk made me feel nauseous every day as I come to work? Yes, it was only a matter of weeks when I realised that what seemed like a dream turned into a nightmare.
The typical week consists of phone calls from stores listening to questions, complaints and whims, online applications to process, complaints from parents of staff, interview schedules, workers’ compensation issues, travel to stores, preparation of training activities, training paperwork, conduct of training, injury and safety issues, traineeship application, induction, release of uniforms, filing, photocopying, and the list goes on. I have slowly mastered the art of multi-tasking like faxing while photocopying, writing an email while talking on the phone, and oh yes, having lunch while working! The job itself was like putting together the various roles I’ve had in all my ten years in HR and Training. Honestly, my work has started to become quite revolting.
On top of all the work that needs to be done in a day, my boss can be totally impossible! I have serious issues about his ethical standards yet I maintain my professionalism. I disagree on most of his judgment calls yet I abide by his orders. I dread it when he asks for “a minute” of my time as he most often than not takes an hour with his “monologue.” He can and will humiliate you in front of everyone when he’s put on the spot as he had done with me more than once. He mumbles his words and annoyingly ends his litany with “Yah?” leaving you with no choice but to nod your head. Oh yeah. He’s a very unique character in my book.
How many times have I struggled to move on with my project on hand because of conflicting decisions between him and HR. Countless times have I been caught up with issues of “double-standards.” Countless times have I been a witness of office politics and conflict of interests to put it subtly. Honestly, not all of these experiences are my first time. I don’t think you can find a perfect company in whichever part of the world. But boy does it get any better than this?
I have strongly considered quitting and Gary and I have had several conversations about this. But despite Gary’s loving support I just can’t find it in my heart to quit now. No, life is much too complex than just one quick decision to end my ordeal.
While I continue to hang on with my job, it is such a great wonder how I was able to get through with my everyday challenges. The interesting thing about this whole new experience is how the Lord allows me to witness his quiet, everyday miracles. The quick prayer for wisdom and patience has become part of my daily supplication. I remember how I try to pull myself together each time I step out of the house as I hold the tears welling up my eyes. “God, today’s another day in the battlefield again.” I think I say a prayer three times even before my work even starts... once at home, once in the car and once in the office... all pleading for the Lord to give me a day of peace at work.
Oh it is such an awe at how God listens to prayers and how He enables me to experience the subtle yet powerful miracles in my life each day. The Lord turns my boss’ leer into a faint smile. With this disposition, the whole office environment just gets transformed into a calm, relaxed space even for just a while. Then the Lord just does something with my phone that allows me to have some peaceful hours into the day. He helps me sort out issues that to begin with I am clueless about. He grants me composure when my head would’ve been spinning with all the job that keeps on coming in. Then in His most benevolent way, He appeases the heart of the managers who would’ve been in their usual crabby mood as they speak to me. Before I knew it, my day is over in the office and the Lord fills me with a sense of fulfilment that on this day, I was able to serve the Lord without a tinge of distress.
Of course my desire is to one day find that workplace that will bring back my cheer and allow me to radiate my joy. While I have always believed that life is not defined by the work that we do, I have long realised how important it is to find a job that you will enjoy because the reality is that most of us spend more hours in the day at work and it can, sadly enough, inevitably take the best of you.
I never expected life to be easy in Australia and it has not been. But it is witnessing God’s quiet, everyday miracles that make our new journey much, much more meaningful.
“ Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” - Proverbs 3:3
Friday, September 25, 2009
The Day the Lord Turned Things Around
One Monday afternoon, I spent some private time in the park with the Lord. As I sat on the bench and looked at the sky, I held with me my journal and my Bible. In between sobs, I cried out all my anguish over my situation. Even if I knew that God loves me and cares about me, my frustrations became too overpowering that I began to question why He has to make me go through what I am going through.
Just recently, I applied for a job in a registered training organisation that offers mainly hospitality courses. It was exhilarating when I was scheduled for an interview as it was the first time someone took notice of my resume. Of course I dressed the part and went for it with very high anticipation. I have the qualifications and the experience. I thought I could nail it. With swollen feet walking through unfamiliar streets, I finally managed to get to the place. Then the interview started with the manager asking me the silliest question I’ve ever heard in my years as a professional ~ “so what position are you applying for?” I was appalled. I didn’t want to sound rude so I politely answered the question. Before I could even process the whole situation, she was asking me the next silly question, “Your educational background is not from Australia, is it?” Just when I thought I heard the worst, she said, “You can’t teach without the Australian qualification...” Obviously, the manager is looking at my resume for the first-time! “Well, I thought you read my CV before inviting me in?” was what I exclaimed. Goodness! Why am I experiencing the oddest things in this modern nation? Even small businesses would know what to do with resumes and interviews.
Anyway, it didn’t take long to get over it as I went in for another interview. This was with an iconic fast-food brand in WA. The job somehow matches my experience but I didn’t have the same fervour as the first so I can prepare my heart for another disappointment. Yeah, that’s the cynical me. Hundreds of rejections? Who wouldn’t be? Surprisingly, the interview went well. It lasted for one and a half hours so I thought that was a good sign. I was invited for another round of interview but this time requiring me to also do a presentation and a training demo. Wow! This is progressing. With an eager heart and mind, I painstakingly created my subject contents, my spiel, the materials etc. that it actually took me four days to prepare! Come presentation day, I was unusually throwing up just a few hours before I left the house. I think I was not nervous. I was horrified! The entire meeting lasted for two arduous hours. The most striking thing the interviewees said was, “We can’t give you a feedback just yet.” As I nod my head, the awkward silence made me stare at my materials and then one of them said, “We are keeping these.” They are keeping my materials. Isn’t that a good thing?
Days went by and nothing was heard from them again. I spoke to some of my classmates about it and they all started feeling bad for me. I was wondering why. They said I should not have given my stuff. For all I know, they could have hired someone and use my materials. The words came to me as a shock. “So you do that here?” I asked. “Oh Arleen, it happens anywhere!” This was what started my distress. I could live with the fact that it would take a long while to find my place but do I really have to be subjected to this kind of treatment? They could have at least called me up and give me a decent feedback. Oh boy!
The bad thoughts and bad experiences all started coming back. My loathsome experience with the Vietnamese people, the innumerable reject letters, and just when I thought I finally have my chance, I get treated this way. To top it off, one of the persons Gary and I abhor started bragging about his promotion and his wife’s new job. I am not normally envious but boy, talk about perfect timing! Shut up! That was what my head wants to say.
The magnitude of my anxiety is getting at a level that I thought I could no longer handle. I turned to the Lord for help. Nothing I think about, read about or hear about is helping me. I cried out in the midst of the silence while sitting in the park. I could not manage to read the scriptures as tears continued to well up my eyes. I was sobbing for hours. It was almost 10 degrees and my body was trembling because of the cold breeze and the weeping. The whole time I was just asking God why. I didn’t even plead for Him to calm my heart. I was just sitting there hoping that He will reveal His answers that very moment. Birds hovered above me, some dashed on the grounds, and others just took off. I looked at them as I cried. Look at these mindless birds. I thought to myself. They worry about nothing at all.
The following day, as Gary and I were walking inside a shop, I received a call. It was from the last interviewer. The first thing she asked was, “Did you get my email?” From that frame of question I knew what it meant. “No, I was in my class.” She was murmuring something about another meeting to explain about the email. I said, “okay.” When I finally managed to open my email, it was what I thought ~ a regret letter. I suppose they would like to give me a proper feedback which is why they wish to see me again. I replied back to say the meeting is no longer necessary and wished them all the best. I should maintain my professionalism even in the midst of my frustration.
The next day while in the campus as we break for tea, I got a voicemail from the same person urging me to come to the meeting. I don’t understand. Then in between the British accent, I thought I heard the word “embarrassing” twice. Then I heard the phrase, “change of heart.” My heart leaped. Am I hearing this right? I shared with my classmates and they all gasped. “Oh, the one they offered the job to must’ve declined.” I thought that was an awful analogy but could be right. Well, at least I’m the second one. There were eleven of us who were screened. I was convincing myself. Then in unison, they were urging to me to take the job. Not that I need urging of course. Everyone I know knows I’m desperate for any job that I will take anything that comes my way.
When I went home I spoke to God. Are you turning things around for me? Is this really happening? Next thing I know, I am again speaking to them and listening to what they have to say about the whole situation. I don’t really need to know if someone just declined and they are professionals enough to know it was inappropriate to say so. The whole meeting to me was a complete blur. It doesn’t really matter now, does it? The only thing I want to know is if they are offering me the job to which they eventually did.
Finally, I am starting my first job in this foreign land on the 5th of October. Matthew 17:20 says, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” God did the unthinkable. He did what is to me an impossibility! I was once again humbled to my feet. I never understood God’s ways especially if He allows me to go through pains. I suppose I never even bothered to ask why He blesses me too when I do not deserve it. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” What a striking truth for someone who has very little faith. Surely, God does not have to prove His sovereignty over our lives. Yet once again He revealed His absolute power to change things and turn them around for me. What have I done to experience God’s faithfulness? Nothing. That’s just who He is.
Just recently, I applied for a job in a registered training organisation that offers mainly hospitality courses. It was exhilarating when I was scheduled for an interview as it was the first time someone took notice of my resume. Of course I dressed the part and went for it with very high anticipation. I have the qualifications and the experience. I thought I could nail it. With swollen feet walking through unfamiliar streets, I finally managed to get to the place. Then the interview started with the manager asking me the silliest question I’ve ever heard in my years as a professional ~ “so what position are you applying for?” I was appalled. I didn’t want to sound rude so I politely answered the question. Before I could even process the whole situation, she was asking me the next silly question, “Your educational background is not from Australia, is it?” Just when I thought I heard the worst, she said, “You can’t teach without the Australian qualification...” Obviously, the manager is looking at my resume for the first-time! “Well, I thought you read my CV before inviting me in?” was what I exclaimed. Goodness! Why am I experiencing the oddest things in this modern nation? Even small businesses would know what to do with resumes and interviews.
Anyway, it didn’t take long to get over it as I went in for another interview. This was with an iconic fast-food brand in WA. The job somehow matches my experience but I didn’t have the same fervour as the first so I can prepare my heart for another disappointment. Yeah, that’s the cynical me. Hundreds of rejections? Who wouldn’t be? Surprisingly, the interview went well. It lasted for one and a half hours so I thought that was a good sign. I was invited for another round of interview but this time requiring me to also do a presentation and a training demo. Wow! This is progressing. With an eager heart and mind, I painstakingly created my subject contents, my spiel, the materials etc. that it actually took me four days to prepare! Come presentation day, I was unusually throwing up just a few hours before I left the house. I think I was not nervous. I was horrified! The entire meeting lasted for two arduous hours. The most striking thing the interviewees said was, “We can’t give you a feedback just yet.” As I nod my head, the awkward silence made me stare at my materials and then one of them said, “We are keeping these.” They are keeping my materials. Isn’t that a good thing?
Days went by and nothing was heard from them again. I spoke to some of my classmates about it and they all started feeling bad for me. I was wondering why. They said I should not have given my stuff. For all I know, they could have hired someone and use my materials. The words came to me as a shock. “So you do that here?” I asked. “Oh Arleen, it happens anywhere!” This was what started my distress. I could live with the fact that it would take a long while to find my place but do I really have to be subjected to this kind of treatment? They could have at least called me up and give me a decent feedback. Oh boy!
The bad thoughts and bad experiences all started coming back. My loathsome experience with the Vietnamese people, the innumerable reject letters, and just when I thought I finally have my chance, I get treated this way. To top it off, one of the persons Gary and I abhor started bragging about his promotion and his wife’s new job. I am not normally envious but boy, talk about perfect timing! Shut up! That was what my head wants to say.
The magnitude of my anxiety is getting at a level that I thought I could no longer handle. I turned to the Lord for help. Nothing I think about, read about or hear about is helping me. I cried out in the midst of the silence while sitting in the park. I could not manage to read the scriptures as tears continued to well up my eyes. I was sobbing for hours. It was almost 10 degrees and my body was trembling because of the cold breeze and the weeping. The whole time I was just asking God why. I didn’t even plead for Him to calm my heart. I was just sitting there hoping that He will reveal His answers that very moment. Birds hovered above me, some dashed on the grounds, and others just took off. I looked at them as I cried. Look at these mindless birds. I thought to myself. They worry about nothing at all.
The following day, as Gary and I were walking inside a shop, I received a call. It was from the last interviewer. The first thing she asked was, “Did you get my email?” From that frame of question I knew what it meant. “No, I was in my class.” She was murmuring something about another meeting to explain about the email. I said, “okay.” When I finally managed to open my email, it was what I thought ~ a regret letter. I suppose they would like to give me a proper feedback which is why they wish to see me again. I replied back to say the meeting is no longer necessary and wished them all the best. I should maintain my professionalism even in the midst of my frustration.
The next day while in the campus as we break for tea, I got a voicemail from the same person urging me to come to the meeting. I don’t understand. Then in between the British accent, I thought I heard the word “embarrassing” twice. Then I heard the phrase, “change of heart.” My heart leaped. Am I hearing this right? I shared with my classmates and they all gasped. “Oh, the one they offered the job to must’ve declined.” I thought that was an awful analogy but could be right. Well, at least I’m the second one. There were eleven of us who were screened. I was convincing myself. Then in unison, they were urging to me to take the job. Not that I need urging of course. Everyone I know knows I’m desperate for any job that I will take anything that comes my way.
When I went home I spoke to God. Are you turning things around for me? Is this really happening? Next thing I know, I am again speaking to them and listening to what they have to say about the whole situation. I don’t really need to know if someone just declined and they are professionals enough to know it was inappropriate to say so. The whole meeting to me was a complete blur. It doesn’t really matter now, does it? The only thing I want to know is if they are offering me the job to which they eventually did.
Finally, I am starting my first job in this foreign land on the 5th of October. Matthew 17:20 says, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” God did the unthinkable. He did what is to me an impossibility! I was once again humbled to my feet. I never understood God’s ways especially if He allows me to go through pains. I suppose I never even bothered to ask why He blesses me too when I do not deserve it. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” What a striking truth for someone who has very little faith. Surely, God does not have to prove His sovereignty over our lives. Yet once again He revealed His absolute power to change things and turn them around for me. What have I done to experience God’s faithfulness? Nothing. That’s just who He is.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Arleen's Law
“If anything can go wrong, it will.” The phrase more popularly known as the Murphy’s Law struck me in more ways than I ever imagined when I got to Australia. Oddly enough, everything that has to do with my work or my efforts to look for work has the Murphy’s Law written on it.
“What a terrible experience!” “That’s so unethical!” “Horrible!” “Unbelievable!” “That is so unprofessional!” Whatever the semantics, these words exclaimed by people who hear my stories aptly describes how I felt in all those “unfortunate” circumstances. Honestly, I am baffled why I have to be caught up with not just one or two but more aggravating experiences that I totally did not anticipate when I joined Ayi in Oz. Surely, the difficulty in finding a job has been factored in as a consequence of the GFC. “You came in at the wrong time,” as most of them would say. But to be a “victim” of people who take advantage of others (and not just once) is just not what I have prepared my heart for.
I have so many questions in my heart and although I knew how God would respond to my cries, I still could not help but ask Him “why?” To add insult to injury, I had to be placed in a position where I can actually witness my own unanswered prayers glaringly being granted to other people I “almost” abhor. I am not questioning God’s supremacy. Surely, He’s capable of blessing others in a manner and time that He chooses to. It’s just too much for me to take in.
“What a terrible experience!” “That’s so unethical!” “Horrible!” “Unbelievable!” “That is so unprofessional!” Whatever the semantics, these words exclaimed by people who hear my stories aptly describes how I felt in all those “unfortunate” circumstances. Honestly, I am baffled why I have to be caught up with not just one or two but more aggravating experiences that I totally did not anticipate when I joined Ayi in Oz. Surely, the difficulty in finding a job has been factored in as a consequence of the GFC. “You came in at the wrong time,” as most of them would say. But to be a “victim” of people who take advantage of others (and not just once) is just not what I have prepared my heart for.
I have so many questions in my heart and although I knew how God would respond to my cries, I still could not help but ask Him “why?” To add insult to injury, I had to be placed in a position where I can actually witness my own unanswered prayers glaringly being granted to other people I “almost” abhor. I am not questioning God’s supremacy. Surely, He’s capable of blessing others in a manner and time that He chooses to. It’s just too much for me to take in.
Did I make the wrong decision? Or to make it more fitting, did we make the wrong decision in coming here? The answer to that has been made clear to us by God in more than one occasion. We have received His affirmation a number of times. So what is the reason for my present plight? What rightful place does it have in this route we are taking? That is my BIG question. I have had all those readings about trials and testing and all adages illustrating how challenging circumstances can make one’s faith and relationship stronger. Sadly though, nothing seems to inspire me at this point. I don’t have an issue with rising after one painful experience but when the wound has not even gone through its final healing stage, what makes another beating essential? And another? And another? I remember a verse that says “you will not be tested beyond what you can bear” and I bet some people who would listen to my rant will drop that line. Now that my heart is crushed to smithereens, does this show that I can actually bear more than what others normally can’t? And so what is next? And what does that make me?
My mental frame at this stage (I’m saying it is temporary) is that I have reached a level of insignificance, bad enough to make me lose interest in anticipating the good that will come out of my present predicament. I say “lose interest” in order to highlight that I still recognise the fact that there are good things that come out of a bad experience. I just don’t want to hang onto any expectation at this stage. My heart grew faint of any type of anticipation. I am just tired. When someone gets tired, he just wants to rest. Rest for the weary! I cry out. Restore the weary soul! I plead the Heavens.
“If things go wrong, there I am in the midst of it.” That probably is how I would phrase my version of Murphy's law ~ and call it Arleen’s Law.
Monday, June 22, 2009
WHEN GOD STRIPS YOU OFF THE THINGS YOU VALUE
As a Christian I always believed that life should be lived according to God’s purpose. Whether you are in a fulltime ministry or working in the secular world, where God has put you is your mission field.
I have spent more than a decade of my life working in companies where I have earned good titles and the respect of people around me. The work became my second home. The adrenalin rush of beating deadlines, talking to managers and staff in distress, solving people issues, running workshops, justifying budgets, all gave me such a high that I thought I was having the greatest time in my career. Of course I acknowledged that it was God who blessed me with my job and my gifts. But work has taken its toll that I missed out years of opportunities to fulfil my role in using my work as my mission field. It took me years before I took the bold step to share the word in the workplace. With a willing and able friend, we were able to start-up a bible study group in the company. I would not say it was a harvest but I believed that the Holy Spirit allowed us to plant some seeds.
After a while, I found myself joining another firm and filling-in a bigger role. Once again, I was caught up in the crazy life of dealing with issues and bringing the problems even to my sleep. It was intoxicating but I found myself finding fulfilment as I sort out every difficulty that came along. I was a freak but I thought it felt good to be useful and needed. The pay was good and I felt adequate. My pride was soaring. It took me a year before I faced the fact that I had not done my part for the Lord once again. Eventually, the Holy Spirit led me to share with a person who was occupying a critical role in the company. It was a victory for the Lord.
“What a great God we have,” I said to myself. He makes me enjoy life and despite losing my focus on Him, more often than not, he still uses me to serve His purpose.
It came to a point in my life when I thought I could not ask for more. I have my own cosy home, a quiet and peaceful neighbourhood (with good and caring neighbours), a stable income (hence, stable savings), wonderful friends and an excellent career. I was thriving with success.
As if things aren’t enough, the Lord opened an opportunity for us to live our dreams of working and living abroad. I struggled for a while with the thought (which meant months) for fear of losing all that I have worked hard for. But while I believed that the stakes are higher I also believed that the trade-off will be worth it. We went ahead (after prayerful consideration and discerning God’s nod of approval) without really knowing where life will take us.
Gary and I are now in Australia. We live in a house shared with five other Filipinos. As rental fees in Australia are quite high, we believe that this is a practical move. While our number is not ideal, the church who owns the house agreed to accommodate all seven of us. We are staying in a room outside the main house where we have nothing but used furnishings that are either hand-me-downs or unwanted stuff that Gary managed to pull-out from someone’s garage. In this modern age, imagine me watching from an analogue TV where the signal is so erratic that you only get a chance to watch one to two channels. During bad days, sometimes the colours also go away leaving me wincing in the hazy black and white screen. We could not afford to get a cable or to even buy an antenna. We sleep in a double bed and having used to a queen size, we sometimes wake up with stiff necks or with back pains. But of course, this is better than sleeping on the floor with no cushion. Our neighbours do not care to know who we are so I have no one else to talk to when everyone has gone out to work. It’s not so bad but there are days when I just miss home.
For almost three months I struggled with not being able to get a job. I don’t know if my four days in a food shop serving customers, working in the kitchen and washing dirty dishes with tyrant and deceptive employers would count. But since that experience brought me nothing but a faint heart, l thought I’d just leave it behind. I have sent out 50 applications (and still counting) for just about anything (retail, construction, real estate, accounting firm, aged care, etc.) and still could not make it even for an interview. There were days when I thought I needed a break as a sight of another job ad makes me cringe. Suffice it to say that I have never been rejected this much in my whole career life. Now I have to face the fact that in this foreign land, I am “nobody” and what I have worked hard for in years now amounts to “nothing.” I found myself in the midst of very humbling circumstances.
Surviving Australia is not so hard if you have at least one person with fulltime job and if you have no kids to support. But because we have our own obligations back home, the expenses are double leaving us with measly savings. Seeing Gary come home so exhausted each night while I spend unproductive days at home made me felt so worthless.
I haven’t heard from any of my friends at home. While it felt good to reminisce the times we were juggling our schedules to accommodate the “despedidas” I realized it was only as good as it lasted. I do not blame them. No one else has as much “free time” as I do. I was embittered and desolate.
For the first time in my life, I was made to (strongly) feel so low, poor, weak, troubled, insufficient, all put together. As I agonize with my emotions and my thoughts, a revelation occurred to me during my quiet time. I just realised that I have been stripped off the things that gave me comfort so I can experience God’s joy, richness, strength, peace and sufficiency. Of course I would not be true to myself if I say my heart has been completely transformed but I have never learned about complete dependence to Him until now when I have lost a lot of things that gave me comfort in life. I have been singing the song “Your grace is sufficient for me. Your strength is made perfect when I am weak...” ever since I was a child and it was only now when the lyrics spoke to me with such profoundness.
As my weaknesses as a Christian get more and more magnified by my present circumstances, I started facing them head on. It is quite a struggle seeing my selfishness, my pride, my material desires and my wanting faith cripple me. I cry in pain and wallow in my failures. My days have passed, my plans are shattered, and so are the desires of my heart (Job 17:11). The words of Job became the words of my heart. Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer. (Psalm 4:1) The plea of David became my plea.
How does one find joy, richness, strength, peace and sufficiency in the Lord at a time like this? It’s unfathomable. But I get by each day through His words. Even as He keeps His silence, I do not give up searching for His presence and taking comfort in His words. Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. (Psalm 16:5-7). After all, I know He left us with these truths so we can remain and grow in our walk until He comes again. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favour and a good name in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:3)
I realise that the pains and struggles that crush our spirit will keep coming in and out of our lives. Sometimes I think the magnitude just keeps getting bigger and I can’t help but quiver in fear but the Lord left us a reminder of His eternal plan. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12) It is not easy to lose your desires when you are stripped off the very things that gave you security in life but my experience hanging on to them only made me realise how temporary everything else in the world is. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. (1 John 2:17) For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18) Want to know my most comforting reminder? Only God remains eternal.
I have spent more than a decade of my life working in companies where I have earned good titles and the respect of people around me. The work became my second home. The adrenalin rush of beating deadlines, talking to managers and staff in distress, solving people issues, running workshops, justifying budgets, all gave me such a high that I thought I was having the greatest time in my career. Of course I acknowledged that it was God who blessed me with my job and my gifts. But work has taken its toll that I missed out years of opportunities to fulfil my role in using my work as my mission field. It took me years before I took the bold step to share the word in the workplace. With a willing and able friend, we were able to start-up a bible study group in the company. I would not say it was a harvest but I believed that the Holy Spirit allowed us to plant some seeds.
After a while, I found myself joining another firm and filling-in a bigger role. Once again, I was caught up in the crazy life of dealing with issues and bringing the problems even to my sleep. It was intoxicating but I found myself finding fulfilment as I sort out every difficulty that came along. I was a freak but I thought it felt good to be useful and needed. The pay was good and I felt adequate. My pride was soaring. It took me a year before I faced the fact that I had not done my part for the Lord once again. Eventually, the Holy Spirit led me to share with a person who was occupying a critical role in the company. It was a victory for the Lord.
“What a great God we have,” I said to myself. He makes me enjoy life and despite losing my focus on Him, more often than not, he still uses me to serve His purpose.
It came to a point in my life when I thought I could not ask for more. I have my own cosy home, a quiet and peaceful neighbourhood (with good and caring neighbours), a stable income (hence, stable savings), wonderful friends and an excellent career. I was thriving with success.
As if things aren’t enough, the Lord opened an opportunity for us to live our dreams of working and living abroad. I struggled for a while with the thought (which meant months) for fear of losing all that I have worked hard for. But while I believed that the stakes are higher I also believed that the trade-off will be worth it. We went ahead (after prayerful consideration and discerning God’s nod of approval) without really knowing where life will take us.
Gary and I are now in Australia. We live in a house shared with five other Filipinos. As rental fees in Australia are quite high, we believe that this is a practical move. While our number is not ideal, the church who owns the house agreed to accommodate all seven of us. We are staying in a room outside the main house where we have nothing but used furnishings that are either hand-me-downs or unwanted stuff that Gary managed to pull-out from someone’s garage. In this modern age, imagine me watching from an analogue TV where the signal is so erratic that you only get a chance to watch one to two channels. During bad days, sometimes the colours also go away leaving me wincing in the hazy black and white screen. We could not afford to get a cable or to even buy an antenna. We sleep in a double bed and having used to a queen size, we sometimes wake up with stiff necks or with back pains. But of course, this is better than sleeping on the floor with no cushion. Our neighbours do not care to know who we are so I have no one else to talk to when everyone has gone out to work. It’s not so bad but there are days when I just miss home.
For almost three months I struggled with not being able to get a job. I don’t know if my four days in a food shop serving customers, working in the kitchen and washing dirty dishes with tyrant and deceptive employers would count. But since that experience brought me nothing but a faint heart, l thought I’d just leave it behind. I have sent out 50 applications (and still counting) for just about anything (retail, construction, real estate, accounting firm, aged care, etc.) and still could not make it even for an interview. There were days when I thought I needed a break as a sight of another job ad makes me cringe. Suffice it to say that I have never been rejected this much in my whole career life. Now I have to face the fact that in this foreign land, I am “nobody” and what I have worked hard for in years now amounts to “nothing.” I found myself in the midst of very humbling circumstances.
Surviving Australia is not so hard if you have at least one person with fulltime job and if you have no kids to support. But because we have our own obligations back home, the expenses are double leaving us with measly savings. Seeing Gary come home so exhausted each night while I spend unproductive days at home made me felt so worthless.
I haven’t heard from any of my friends at home. While it felt good to reminisce the times we were juggling our schedules to accommodate the “despedidas” I realized it was only as good as it lasted. I do not blame them. No one else has as much “free time” as I do. I was embittered and desolate.
For the first time in my life, I was made to (strongly) feel so low, poor, weak, troubled, insufficient, all put together. As I agonize with my emotions and my thoughts, a revelation occurred to me during my quiet time. I just realised that I have been stripped off the things that gave me comfort so I can experience God’s joy, richness, strength, peace and sufficiency. Of course I would not be true to myself if I say my heart has been completely transformed but I have never learned about complete dependence to Him until now when I have lost a lot of things that gave me comfort in life. I have been singing the song “Your grace is sufficient for me. Your strength is made perfect when I am weak...” ever since I was a child and it was only now when the lyrics spoke to me with such profoundness.
As my weaknesses as a Christian get more and more magnified by my present circumstances, I started facing them head on. It is quite a struggle seeing my selfishness, my pride, my material desires and my wanting faith cripple me. I cry in pain and wallow in my failures. My days have passed, my plans are shattered, and so are the desires of my heart (Job 17:11). The words of Job became the words of my heart. Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer. (Psalm 4:1) The plea of David became my plea.
How does one find joy, richness, strength, peace and sufficiency in the Lord at a time like this? It’s unfathomable. But I get by each day through His words. Even as He keeps His silence, I do not give up searching for His presence and taking comfort in His words. Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. (Psalm 16:5-7). After all, I know He left us with these truths so we can remain and grow in our walk until He comes again. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favour and a good name in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:3)
I realise that the pains and struggles that crush our spirit will keep coming in and out of our lives. Sometimes I think the magnitude just keeps getting bigger and I can’t help but quiver in fear but the Lord left us a reminder of His eternal plan. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12) It is not easy to lose your desires when you are stripped off the very things that gave you security in life but my experience hanging on to them only made me realise how temporary everything else in the world is. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. (1 John 2:17) For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18) Want to know my most comforting reminder? Only God remains eternal.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
New Life in Australia
I still remember the day when Ayi asked the question, “Okay lang ba ituloy ko application ko sa Australia?” and that I simply responded with a nod. I answered him half-heartedly because I just accepted a job offer from Quantum as HR Manager, an opportunity I was praying to have for almost a year. A picture of a new life is just too much to absorb when you are just getting over gruelling months of job-hunting and rough moments of attempting to regain your self-esteem.
I remember how after Ayi’s acceptance of offer to work in Australia and I woke up to tell him, “Beb, ayoko sa Australia.” I remember that sad, disappointed look in Ayi’s face that managed to ask, “Bakit?” and I just could not come up with a logical answer. What is it that made me say that? We have been praying to God for years for a chance to start a life in another country together. God gave us his approval and now I changed my mind? Ayi has more than enough reason to be upset but understanding as he is, we managed to sort out this discussion with me realizing I am just overwhelmed with the fear of the unknown.
So then one day I found myself handing my resignation, saying goodbye to friends, sorting out my home stuff, packing up my luggage and leaving the lovely home and neighbourhood we have lived in as we started our life together.
Now I am sitting in the lounge in my woollen socks and in my jumpers (that’s the usual Aussie term for sweaters) trying to warm myself because right now it’s 15 degrees here in Perth. Oh yeah, it’s been a month since I got here and pretty much adjusting to the new life Down Under.
One of the funniest recollections of my first impression of Perth was when we stepped out of the airport. At the first sight of the streets, I felt a bit uneasy because I could not see any building. It was just trees and dry land all over. “Uh-oh, what is this place?,” was the first thought in my head. “Ba’t walang building?” I just have to let it out. Ayi responded with a laugh. “Does he think this is funny?” I was trying to calm myself. “Ganyan dito sa Perth. Walang buhay,” was the resounding statement I got from Ate Amy, the nice lady who picked us up from the airport. I just froze in my seat trying to reject the truth from that statement. “Naku ‘wag naman. Mamamatay ako dito,” were the words I wish I could blurt out loud to Ayi’s ears. After a while, we entered streets with similar-looking houses, houses made of bricks with huge front lawns. Ah, finally there’s a sign of life in here. When we got to our new home, it wasn’t bad after all. The huge lawn and spaces around the lot plus the park fronting us give you a sense of freedom and tranquility. The serenity is much the same as our place in St. Monique but I definitely welcome the huge space compared to our 66sqm abode back in Manila.
Perth is a very quiet city I must say. Our suburb is 30 minutes away from the Central Business District and is a few minutes’ drive from a shopping centre. It has a total of 1.5M in population which pretty much explains the serenity. Coming from a country that just has too many people everywhere, this is definitely a blessed haven. If you need a breath of fresh air, I am so happy to know that this part of the earth still has it. Ayi and I used to joke about reusing our shirts after a day’s travel as they are as fresh smelling as they were before they were worn. A friend even said a booger here is colored white. Hahaha! That’s gross but yeah, that’s just how clean this place is. The only downside is that the youths here seem to love making graffiti as their past time. You see these ugly sights even in public transports which is just appalling as these are government properties. It’s I guess a perennial problem in this city or maybe even outside the state.
If you just hate traffic, this is also another place to retreat in. When people here complain of traffic I just wanted to laugh and say, “there are places in the world much much worst.” While there is barely a traffic congestion in major thoroughfares, you just got to learn how to manage your time so you will not miss the bus and your appointment. Weekends and holidays have an average of one hour interval. So imagine missing it for just a few seconds delay. For someone who has been commuting all the years of her life, running like crazy so as not to miss the bus is neither a bad experience nor a bad exercise. I remember reaching the bus stop panting like a dog and making noises while I tried to catch my breath that it sent one old lady to turn her glance as if to say “poor thing.” Never mind the poise. At least I got to the bus on time. Scrambling for a place in the tricycle after alighting the shuttle in St. Monique is a good training after all.
A visit to the city malls is okay but at times I miss my “malling” in Ortigas (Galleria, Megamall and Shang Plaza) where brands are more familiar and prices are friendlier in the pocket. Ayi and I also miss our coffee time at Starbucks. Aussies do not know what they are missing for not having that coffee place here in Perth. I am not a Starbucks endorser but I really miss it. (Huhuhu...) I heard they closed down the only one they have in Sydney. There are coffee places all over though. Dome and Gloria Jeans are the most familiar brand for us. Dome is a posh brand in Manila but here it has just about the same price as the others, although it is the most prominent cafe here in Western Australia. If I am not mistaken, it originated here. So Dome is Perth’s Starbucks. Hahaha! Haay...Coffee Jelly, miss na miss kita.
I do not know if it’s Ayi’s discriminating palate, but he sort of influenced me in realizing that we have better food quality for diners in Manila than here. We have yet to eat in a restaurant that will give us our money’s worth. Although we have not really tried going to fancy places and I don’t think Ayi intends to in the near future. The fresh produce are, however, very good in quality and the prices are just right. Suffice it to say that the best option is to cook at home than to dine out. Good thing I do not struggle with that. (I mean with cooking.) I just kind of missed some Filipino seasonings and I wish I have brought some. But thank heavens for Filipino Diaspora that made it possible for Barrio Fiesta Bagoong, Silver Swan Soy Sauce and Datu Puti Vinegar to get to Perth. My cooking will never be the same without them.
If you love veggies and fruits, Australia grows them really well. Infact, one of the most common past times of Aussies is growing a veggie-patch in their backyard. That’s how widely oriented they are in agriculture. You will be amazed at how nicely grown the vegetables are here. Don’t really know if they are all organic as I am not as conscious when it comes to how they are grown. But the sizes, the colour and the form are just too wonderful to look at. Imagine the large capsicums, eggplants (that has a size as big as our ‘patola’), tomatoes (cherry tomatoes and salad tomatoes), and lettuce (that you have to carry with your two hands). So sad I am not a fan of salad greens. The fruits are very nice and colourful but I still miss our tropical fruits like mangoes (nothing beats Philippine mangoes) and latundan! The only banana variety I have seen so far is Cavendish, the type that I do not eat apart from Senyorita. Haay...
As I crave for more and more Filipino food, there are those that I have started to enjoy when I got here that we do not typically buy back home. Fruit juices here are sold at $2 for 2 litres when on sale. These are not like the powdered juices mostly sold in our groceries but bottled juices with no added sugar and preservatives. You get them in many different flavours made from many different combinations of fruits, mostly citrus. This has become part of our meals on a regular basis because of its affordability and you know, the health part (I do not sound like a Dietitian). Another one I love drinking during meals is Brownes, a flavoured milk. Again, you have to grab them during sale. We love the chocolate and mocha flavour. My closest friends would know I am a fan of Chocolait and having found this brand makes me say, “Where have you been all my life?” Hahaha! I should get a fee from Brownes for this.
Supermarkets here, and other stores for that matter, typically go on sale for three to four days for specific brands and types of food. They spend a lot to come out with brochures which are distributed to the household on a weekly basis. Looking through them is like doing window shopping. As the savings will be significant if you take advantage of the sale, Ayi and I try to grab our common household items during this period and then wait for another sale to replenish. Ayi taught me to grab regular food items that do not require replenishment yet in the interest of savings. We also buy items in bigger portions as basic math would tell you that they actually come out cheaper.
Another thing that I am slowly acquainting myself is the accent and the use of slang words. As I interact with more locals, there is less use of “I’m sorry I didn’t get that” or “I beg your pardon” as I try to catch up with the “context” of the message even as I miss some of the colloquial terms. It gets tricky though when the main context is from the slang I just did not get. Aussies are fond of using short-cuts that they call chicken “chooks”, breakfast “brekkie” or “brekky”, relatives “relos”, chewing gum “chewie”, you get the drift. I also figured out from listening to the news each day that their “a” as in “day” is pronounced as “i” as in “die” and “e” as in “me” is pronounced as “a” as in “may”. So when you hear them say, “To may it’s a bad die,” they may mean “To me it’s a bad day.” This may not be accurate but that’s my observation.
Day by day, as I embrace our new life, the ups and downs of living away from my homeland are slowly being revealed to me. I cannot be thankful enough that the Lord has given me an opportunity to enrich my life with this new experience. Some experiences are difficult to hurdle, some are just too great to even deserve, yet every time, they never fail to reveal the magnitude of God’s grace.
I remember how after Ayi’s acceptance of offer to work in Australia and I woke up to tell him, “Beb, ayoko sa Australia.” I remember that sad, disappointed look in Ayi’s face that managed to ask, “Bakit?” and I just could not come up with a logical answer. What is it that made me say that? We have been praying to God for years for a chance to start a life in another country together. God gave us his approval and now I changed my mind? Ayi has more than enough reason to be upset but understanding as he is, we managed to sort out this discussion with me realizing I am just overwhelmed with the fear of the unknown.
So then one day I found myself handing my resignation, saying goodbye to friends, sorting out my home stuff, packing up my luggage and leaving the lovely home and neighbourhood we have lived in as we started our life together.
Now I am sitting in the lounge in my woollen socks and in my jumpers (that’s the usual Aussie term for sweaters) trying to warm myself because right now it’s 15 degrees here in Perth. Oh yeah, it’s been a month since I got here and pretty much adjusting to the new life Down Under.
One of the funniest recollections of my first impression of Perth was when we stepped out of the airport. At the first sight of the streets, I felt a bit uneasy because I could not see any building. It was just trees and dry land all over. “Uh-oh, what is this place?,” was the first thought in my head. “Ba’t walang building?” I just have to let it out. Ayi responded with a laugh. “Does he think this is funny?” I was trying to calm myself. “Ganyan dito sa Perth. Walang buhay,” was the resounding statement I got from Ate Amy, the nice lady who picked us up from the airport. I just froze in my seat trying to reject the truth from that statement. “Naku ‘wag naman. Mamamatay ako dito,” were the words I wish I could blurt out loud to Ayi’s ears. After a while, we entered streets with similar-looking houses, houses made of bricks with huge front lawns. Ah, finally there’s a sign of life in here. When we got to our new home, it wasn’t bad after all. The huge lawn and spaces around the lot plus the park fronting us give you a sense of freedom and tranquility. The serenity is much the same as our place in St. Monique but I definitely welcome the huge space compared to our 66sqm abode back in Manila.
Perth is a very quiet city I must say. Our suburb is 30 minutes away from the Central Business District and is a few minutes’ drive from a shopping centre. It has a total of 1.5M in population which pretty much explains the serenity. Coming from a country that just has too many people everywhere, this is definitely a blessed haven. If you need a breath of fresh air, I am so happy to know that this part of the earth still has it. Ayi and I used to joke about reusing our shirts after a day’s travel as they are as fresh smelling as they were before they were worn. A friend even said a booger here is colored white. Hahaha! That’s gross but yeah, that’s just how clean this place is. The only downside is that the youths here seem to love making graffiti as their past time. You see these ugly sights even in public transports which is just appalling as these are government properties. It’s I guess a perennial problem in this city or maybe even outside the state.
If you just hate traffic, this is also another place to retreat in. When people here complain of traffic I just wanted to laugh and say, “there are places in the world much much worst.” While there is barely a traffic congestion in major thoroughfares, you just got to learn how to manage your time so you will not miss the bus and your appointment. Weekends and holidays have an average of one hour interval. So imagine missing it for just a few seconds delay. For someone who has been commuting all the years of her life, running like crazy so as not to miss the bus is neither a bad experience nor a bad exercise. I remember reaching the bus stop panting like a dog and making noises while I tried to catch my breath that it sent one old lady to turn her glance as if to say “poor thing.” Never mind the poise. At least I got to the bus on time. Scrambling for a place in the tricycle after alighting the shuttle in St. Monique is a good training after all.
A visit to the city malls is okay but at times I miss my “malling” in Ortigas (Galleria, Megamall and Shang Plaza) where brands are more familiar and prices are friendlier in the pocket. Ayi and I also miss our coffee time at Starbucks. Aussies do not know what they are missing for not having that coffee place here in Perth. I am not a Starbucks endorser but I really miss it. (Huhuhu...) I heard they closed down the only one they have in Sydney. There are coffee places all over though. Dome and Gloria Jeans are the most familiar brand for us. Dome is a posh brand in Manila but here it has just about the same price as the others, although it is the most prominent cafe here in Western Australia. If I am not mistaken, it originated here. So Dome is Perth’s Starbucks. Hahaha! Haay...Coffee Jelly, miss na miss kita.
I do not know if it’s Ayi’s discriminating palate, but he sort of influenced me in realizing that we have better food quality for diners in Manila than here. We have yet to eat in a restaurant that will give us our money’s worth. Although we have not really tried going to fancy places and I don’t think Ayi intends to in the near future. The fresh produce are, however, very good in quality and the prices are just right. Suffice it to say that the best option is to cook at home than to dine out. Good thing I do not struggle with that. (I mean with cooking.) I just kind of missed some Filipino seasonings and I wish I have brought some. But thank heavens for Filipino Diaspora that made it possible for Barrio Fiesta Bagoong, Silver Swan Soy Sauce and Datu Puti Vinegar to get to Perth. My cooking will never be the same without them.
If you love veggies and fruits, Australia grows them really well. Infact, one of the most common past times of Aussies is growing a veggie-patch in their backyard. That’s how widely oriented they are in agriculture. You will be amazed at how nicely grown the vegetables are here. Don’t really know if they are all organic as I am not as conscious when it comes to how they are grown. But the sizes, the colour and the form are just too wonderful to look at. Imagine the large capsicums, eggplants (that has a size as big as our ‘patola’), tomatoes (cherry tomatoes and salad tomatoes), and lettuce (that you have to carry with your two hands). So sad I am not a fan of salad greens. The fruits are very nice and colourful but I still miss our tropical fruits like mangoes (nothing beats Philippine mangoes) and latundan! The only banana variety I have seen so far is Cavendish, the type that I do not eat apart from Senyorita. Haay...
As I crave for more and more Filipino food, there are those that I have started to enjoy when I got here that we do not typically buy back home. Fruit juices here are sold at $2 for 2 litres when on sale. These are not like the powdered juices mostly sold in our groceries but bottled juices with no added sugar and preservatives. You get them in many different flavours made from many different combinations of fruits, mostly citrus. This has become part of our meals on a regular basis because of its affordability and you know, the health part (I do not sound like a Dietitian). Another one I love drinking during meals is Brownes, a flavoured milk. Again, you have to grab them during sale. We love the chocolate and mocha flavour. My closest friends would know I am a fan of Chocolait and having found this brand makes me say, “Where have you been all my life?” Hahaha! I should get a fee from Brownes for this.
Supermarkets here, and other stores for that matter, typically go on sale for three to four days for specific brands and types of food. They spend a lot to come out with brochures which are distributed to the household on a weekly basis. Looking through them is like doing window shopping. As the savings will be significant if you take advantage of the sale, Ayi and I try to grab our common household items during this period and then wait for another sale to replenish. Ayi taught me to grab regular food items that do not require replenishment yet in the interest of savings. We also buy items in bigger portions as basic math would tell you that they actually come out cheaper.
Another thing that I am slowly acquainting myself is the accent and the use of slang words. As I interact with more locals, there is less use of “I’m sorry I didn’t get that” or “I beg your pardon” as I try to catch up with the “context” of the message even as I miss some of the colloquial terms. It gets tricky though when the main context is from the slang I just did not get. Aussies are fond of using short-cuts that they call chicken “chooks”, breakfast “brekkie” or “brekky”, relatives “relos”, chewing gum “chewie”, you get the drift. I also figured out from listening to the news each day that their “a” as in “day” is pronounced as “i” as in “die” and “e” as in “me” is pronounced as “a” as in “may”. So when you hear them say, “To may it’s a bad die,” they may mean “To me it’s a bad day.” This may not be accurate but that’s my observation.
Day by day, as I embrace our new life, the ups and downs of living away from my homeland are slowly being revealed to me. I cannot be thankful enough that the Lord has given me an opportunity to enrich my life with this new experience. Some experiences are difficult to hurdle, some are just too great to even deserve, yet every time, they never fail to reveal the magnitude of God’s grace.
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